oxymoron67: (dino head)
This memory jarred loose by the LJ Idol topic "Burnt Sienna".
Adventures in being an altar boy. )
oxymoron67: (dino head)
Even though I'm not in it anymore, LJ Idol's prompts right now are pretty good. So here is an entry for one of them.
Of course I've cross-dressed. )
oxymoron67: (snoopy)
This April, I was flying into Pittsburgh to attend a conference and to visit the family. While the sky was overcast throughout the flight, the rain actually held off until right when the plane was landing. By the time we got to the gate at the terminal, it was a downpour.

I wasn’t all that surprised. See, I have a superpower. When I travel, I bring bad weather with me. Call me Low Pressure Lad.

My friends spotted the pattern over twenty years ago. Every overnight trip I’d take, be it for work, family or vacation, involved bad weather.

And they’re right. Over the years, I’ve brought an ice storm into Indianapolis with me… the remnants of a tropical storm hit Atlanta the day I flew in for a family get-together… the first tornado to touch down in the city of Pittsburgh in over fifty years hit the night after I arrived in the city for a break from grad school.

The list goes on. I mean, the above examples are championship-level events, and I can’t manage weather that extreme all the time. Sometimes, it’s just drizzle or fog.

You’d think that this would be really useful: I could be called in to douse forest fires or end droughts, for example.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. I can’t control it: sometimes I produce ice storms; other times, just really uncomfortable humidity.

Before you ask, I’ve tried to get this power under control, but I just can’t figure out how. I mean, which muscle do you flex when you want it to rain? Is it different than the one for snow? What if I want some combo-pack of weather, like, say, fog and freezing rain? How many muscles does that require? I haven’t been able to figure it out.

Before you say, “Well, what if this power is psychic in nature?”, I’ve thought of that, too. Do you know how difficult it is to concentrate on CLOUDS? I’ll be sitting at some outdoor café looking at the sky thinking, “C’mon, get cloudier! More clouds! FOG!” and then some really hot guy walks by and I’ll be all, “Oooo… he has a nice ass” and I’ll have to start all over again.

Or I’ll be trying to influence the weather while I’m wearing my headphones, and my taste in music will betray me: “Bring the lightning! Bring the thunder! Make it rain!... It’s raining men! Hallelujah! It’s raining men! Amen!”

As you can imagine, that ruins the whole “weather-controlling” mood.

Even if I COULD manage to concentrate long enough, I have to wonder if I’m concentrating on the correct thing. I mean… do I concentrate on clouds? Temperature? Wind?

So, my powers are likely to remain uncontrolled for the foreseeable future.

Still, I have to wonder why I have this power. I mean, no one else in my family has a superpower. Trust me, I’d know: we’re talkers, all of us. We suck at keeping secrets.

Maybe it’s a queer thing. Maybe Mother Nature gives some of her queer children an extra gift to even things out, and possibly to take vengeance on the homophobic world.

If that’s the case, then Pat Robertson would be right to blame us queers for all the natural disasters that strike the U.S., though he is wrong about the underlying cause. It’s not God saying, “Hate the queers” so much as it is God saying, “Be careful or my queers will FUCK YOU UP!”

That would be cool.
_________________________________

This was in response to the prompt "No Capes." I worked with the delightful [livejournal.com profile] porn_this_way, whose similarly themed entry can be found here.

You can read them in whichever order you please. And... who knew? Queers with superpowers are more common than you'd think.
oxymoron67: (dino head)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] mountain_hiker at Superhero Name


I'm Outlandish Diamond Lion!

Just for shits and giggles, here are some others:

The maternal unit (using her maiden name) is Inconceivable Shrinking Foot
Jackie is Dastardly Diamond Tornado
Windy is Erotic Diamond Bear
My childhood friend, Mick (nickname), is Erotic Flaming Girl! xD



I'm the Improbable Screaming Witch.

The problem here is that I already have a superhero name: Low Pressure Lad. So, do I have two names and two different sets of powers or is this a "in North America he's Low Pressure Lad, but on the steppes of Asia, he's the Improbable Screaming Witch" thing?

Hmm.
oxymoron67: (eyes)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] mountain_hiker at Can't unsee


oxymoron67: (Default)
This will likely be friends-only in about a week.

A NSFW attempt to be romantic )
oxymoron67: (dino head)
This is AMAZING!

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] mountain_hiker at This is pretty badass


This Incredible Full Scale Lego X-Wing Is the Largest Model In History
This is truly unbelievable: Lego has built a 1:1 scale model of the X-Wing fighter using an astounding 5,335,200 bricks! It's as big as the real thing, capable of fitting the real Luke Skywalker—and Porkins.

As you can see in these exclusive Gizmodo images and video, it reproduces the official $60 Lego 9493 X-Wing Fighter. But instead of being 560-pieces and a few inches long, this model uses more than five million pieces and it's 11-feet tall and 43 feet long, with a 44-foot wingspan. Just like the real X-Wing—and 42 times the size of the commercial Lego set....

...Here are all details about the model:
  • Contains 5,335,200 LEGO bricks
  • Weighs 45,979.61 pounds (including bricks and steel infrastructure)
  • Height: 11 feet / 3.35 meters
  • Length: 43 feet / 13.1 meters
  • Wingspan: 44 feet / 13.44 meters
  • 32 builders spent 17,336 hours (about 4 months) to construct
Check out the video in the link (I can't embed it):
Engines that light up and roar

There's only one thing different from the original model: the engines glow and roar like the X-Wing in the movies.

oxymoron67: (dino head)
My topic is "Chillin' Like a Villain"

This is an intersection entry with [livejournal.com profile] neverletyoupart, whose entry is here.

We did variations on a theme: grandparental death.
Set the wayback machine to 1950 )

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