oxymoron67: (Gay Army)
Scene: 7 train, a pleasant Sunday afternoon

Me1: Oh my God. Look!
Me2: What? Sweet Jesus!
Me1: Clearly gay.
Me2: I don't know. If we learned one thing from Rick Santorum's presidential run, it's that sweater vests are inherently heterosexual.
Me1: Even ones that are color blocked in various shades of pink?
Me2: Think of it as the Santorum Hypothesis.
Me1: Even when he's wearing MATCHING PINK SOCKS?
Me2: He is not... there is.. no... Damn. Matching pink socks. That's staggering.
Me1: Look, we're as gay as a spring frock at an Easter Day Parade and even we don't own pink socks.
Me2: You know, the dazzlingly white golf pants really do pull the ensemble together.
Me1: Indeed. And no accessories. Of course with that hot pink sweater vest, accessories would be gilding the lily.
Me2: Still, maybe he just lost a bet...
Me1: What kind of bet ends with "... and if you lose, you have to dress like Mr Rogers at the world's dullest gay pride parade"?
Me2: Okay, fine. Point conceded.
Me1: Thank you. Now to celebrate, let's play some Donna Summer on the iPod.
oxymoron67: (Default)
Scene: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Art of the Mughals section

Me1: Gay couple at four o'clock.
Me2: Okay, the guy with the jaunty beret, definitely... but the other one...
Me1: Oh, come on...
Me2: Look at the clothes.
Me1: I AM. Spefically the shorts. He clearly chose them to highlight his butt. Straight boys don't think that way.
Me2: Maybe. But they're plaid. And his shirt is horizontal stripes. No self-respecting gay does that.
Me1: Maybe he's dressing ironically.
Me2: Really. Dressing ironically. Really. I cannot believe you just said that.
Me1: Well... I...
Me2: Besides the patterns, the color schemes of the shirt and shorts don't match.
Me1: Okay, think of it as the gay version of grunge.
Me2: What?
Me1: Well, grunge was all about looking as ratty and unwashed and depressed as possible. Well, this is kind of the opposite of that. It's all loud and colorful and cheerful, yet strangely, it's just as ugly and hopeless as grunge. It's like a forced cheerfulness.
Me2: ...
Me1: Maybe he thinks he on the verge of breaking up with Jaunty Beret Guy and this may be their last date together, so he's forcing himself to wear this outfit and pretend to be happy while he's really dying inside.
Me2: Oh, for God's sake. We aren't in a Lifetime movie.
Me1: If this were a Lifetime Movie, they wouldn't be a gay couple. Jaunty Beret Guy would be a scum-sucking cheater; Loud Mismatched Clothes Guy would be played by Jennifer Love Hewitt, and, if she had a gay friend at all, it would be one of those sassy, celibate ones that you only see on TV and in the Movies.
Me2: ...
Me1: Tell me I'm wrong.
Me2: It's not that. It's that we know enough about Lifetime Movies to make this analogy.
Me1: Damn. You're right. That is upsetting.
oxymoron67: (Default)
Scene: This afternoon at the Museum of the City of New York*
A brief conversation. )
oxymoron67: (Default)
Me: On your title screen for your digital poem*, you typed "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frogs."
Student: Yes.
Me: You know that's wrong, don't you?
Student: It's close. It's how I pronounce his name.
Me: It's not really that close, and you're losing points for BOTH misspelling and mispronouncing his name.
Student: But I forgot the pictures...
Me: Which is when you forgot the poet's name?
Student: I'm not good with computers.
Me: I saw you WITH A COPY OF THE POEM.
Student: This was hard.
Me: The man's last name is "Frost" F-R-O-S-T.
Student: I wasn't here so I didn't know how to do it.
Me: You weren't there when we introduced Windows MovieMaker, which is why you forgot how to type? How does that make sense?
Student: ... This was hard.
Me: You know... I can't care about your grade more than you do, and clearly you couldn't be bothered.
Students: .. but I tried...
Me: No, you didn't. Not really.

And with that, I moved on.

*Digital poems: I give my students a selection of poems and they chose one, find pictures to match the words and, using Windows MovieMaker, turn it into a short movie. I'll talk more about it tomorrow.
oxymoron67: (Default)
I was on the bus over the weekend, going to meet a friend for dinner when I overheard the following.

(And, yes, I had my iPod on. The gentleman was loud.)

"... but I'll be naked by then. You know anytime after 7:30 is naked time."

Clearly there was response, as naked boy was silent.

"Well, yes, I *COULD* meet them at the door. That's a good compromise."

I... what? Is he meeting them at the door naked? Is he keeping his clothes on until they cross the threshold then... woohoo... surprise nakedguy!
oxymoron67: (Default)
Before the absolutely horrifying seminar.

Colleague1: Getting old is awful.
Me: Eh. Given the other option, I;ll take getting old.
C1: What?
Me: Well, you're either walking on the grass or pushing it up.
Colleague2: that's not true. You might also be spread over the grass.
C1: That's true...different traditions...
Me:... or you could be serial killed and dumped in the woods, where you're scavenged by coyotes.
C2: This conversation took a sudden turn.
(I go get coffee and cookies.)
oxymoron67: (Default)
From a teaching standpoint, giving the midterm is easy. Writing it is a pain... correcting it is often an exercize in frustration ("How could they not have gotten that? I went over it a gazillion times!"), but giving it? Not a problem.

Usually.
Read more... )
oxymoron67: (Default)
We were going over the "er" sounds and the r-diphthongs last night when the sample word "cur" came up.

Since no one int he class knew what "cur" meant, I made them look it up. This lead to the following:

Student1: It means... a male dog.
Me: Yes.
Student2: It also says that it's an archaic way of describing an man.
Me: Also true, and not a complimentary description either.
Student1: Why would we call a man a dog?
Me: Why do we call women bitches?
The entire class: ...
Student1: I am going to start calling guys "curs" ALL THE TIME.

A photo!

Sep. 19th, 2011 01:33 pm
oxymoron67: (Default)
From the Modern Art section of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Behold Becca!

Click for fun! )
oxymoron67: (Default)
FIRST CLASS!

We went over the syllabus. I spent time actually explicitly saying things that I've never had to say before. Things like, "You get four absences. I don't need to know and I CERTAINLY don't want notes from your parents. Because, yes, that's happened."

After the syllabus, we took attendance and my students introduced themselves. I have five math and science majors in my class, a new high.

Then I did a brief introduction of the IPA and voicing (vibration of the vocal chords). We'll start this in detail on Tuesday.

Next up, we did a test run with the recording software. This conversation happened:

Student: I don't want to record myself.
Me: Don't worry. It's not for a grade: it's just a practice run.
St: But I can't....
Me: Think of it like you're swimming in cold water. Yes you're cold at first, but then you get used to it.
St: But I don't...
Me: OR you slip into hypothermia, die and get eaten by sharks.
St: What?
Me: Adapt or die. Your choice.

I moved on.

This class has more energy than my Spring class did. We'll see what happens next.

Oh... and I have my first Tibetan speaker!
oxymoron67: (Default)
And to celebrate: storytime!

Catholic kids who go to public school are required to attend CCD, Catholic religious classes. When I was a child, we had to attend these classes at Holy Cross (not our parish) one year. This was a Tuesday? Thursday? afternoon thing. We'd finish school, which was a few blocks away, and walk over to Hply Cross to be berated by taught by the nuns.

This particular year, because it was right after school, we got a little snack before class: milk and a cookie or milk and an apple, nothing big.

The head nun, Sister Mary Somethingorother, complained that we public school students were so much messier than her delightful Catholic school students. She did this in front of my mom. The following conversation happened.

Sister: Well, they are just so much messier than MY students.
Mom: How?
Sister: They leave crumbs all over my baseboards in the hallway. My students never do that.
Mom: Do you let your students* eat in the hallway?
Sister: No, of course not. That's what the cafeteria is for.
Mom: So why not let them have their snack their?
Sister Too much hassle to re-open the cafeteria. Besides, the children are noisy as well. I can't get any work done in my office.
Mom: So... all of this is happening while you sit in your office?
Sister: Yes.
Mom: And no one is out there supervising the kids?
Sister: No.
Mom: Well, shouldn't you get out of your office to watch the kids? Aren't they your responsibility?
Sister: Are you telling me how to do my job?
Mom: I'm asking where the supervision is.
Sister: Don't you dare tell me how to do my job!
Mom: Do it properly and I won't have to.

*Mom was also irritated at the whole "my students/not my students thing" -- we may not have had sister full time, but we were also her students, but waited until the parish priest was around to bring that up.
oxymoron67: (stalking)
We were talking about science fiction, and then, for some reason, we started talking about genies.

Him: ... so, since the genie told this guy that he couldn't ask for more wishes, the guy asked for more genies.
Me: Nice!
Him: I thought so.
Me: Of course, if I were to get a genie, I'd only want a man-purse wielding eagle-headed genie.
Him: ....
Me: The Assyrians have spolied me.
Him: ...
Me: Standards are a good thing.
Him: Wouldn't you be worried that it would be sort of ... I don't know... out of date, like disco?
Me: The classics never go out of style. Besides, it's only three wishes. I'm not a patient man. I wouldn't actually have the genie for any length of time.
Him: Good point.

If you don't get the reference, here is a man-purse wielding eagle headed genie:



See? Don't you want one now, too?
oxymoron67: (Gay Army)
Scene: Saturday afternoon, Union Square Park

Me1: Great people watching.
Me2: Hey look! Protesters!
Me1: You're right. They're in bright orange jumpsuits.
Me2: And their giant sign says "Cruel and Unusual Punishment".
Me1: I... don't get it.
Me2: What do you mean?
Me1: Whose cruel and unusual punishment?
Me2: You've got a point. They can't possibly be protesting wearing those bright orange jumpsuits. No one looks good in those things, but it's hardly cruel and unusual punishment.*
Me1: Hey, look, down off the stairs in front of them.
Me2: Some of Ron Paul's followers are out!
Me1: And they have signs! "Ron Paul for President!"
Me2: Look at how the signs are juxtaposed. The orange jumpsuits on on the stairs, so they're sign is positioned above Ron Paul's.
Me1: Oh my God! It does look like it's saying "Cruel and Unusual Punishment: Ron Paul for President!"

*The folks in the orange jumpsuits were protesting the prison at Guantanamo Bay, but that part of the their signage was much smaller and kind of tucked away from everything else. I didn't notice it until I was leaving.

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