oxymoron67: (Default)
No Geek Week is complete without a trip to The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Just getting there was an adventure today: I have to take two buses to get there, the Q32 and the M3. (Honestly, the M1, M3 or M4 will do, the M3 was the one that showed.)

Well, as we were getting off the Queensboro Bridge, a construction vehicle clipped the front of the bus. No one was hurt, but the rear view mirror was smashed and the bus couldn't continue the route, so we got to wait for the next one.

Then, two stops after I got on the M3, it stalled. So we had to wait for another bus.

*sigh*

I got to the Museum, waved to the security guard, who recognized me, dropped my backpack off at the bag check and went in.

I started in the Greco-Roman area.

Always a good choice.

The two galleries I focused on were the 4th and 5th century Greek galleries.

The exploits of Dionysus, Theseus, Eros and Herakles were VERY popular themes, as was Hermes.

Then I spent a little time in the African Art area, specifically the art of the Bamana, who live in West Africa.

From there, I wandered through the newly-redone "Renaissance in France" Gallery, which was well done. Lots of new items, but it still has the gayest Moses/Pharoah confrontation painting ever on display.

Finally, we I went through the nineteenth century decorative arts section. This particular section had A LOT of timepieces and a chess set, among other things.

While I want to see the rooftop installation, not on a 95 F day.

Surprisingly, the trip back was uneventful, though traffic was horrid.
oxymoron67: (Default)
I was on the bus over the weekend, going to meet a friend for dinner when I overheard the following.

(And, yes, I had my iPod on. The gentleman was loud.)

"... but I'll be naked by then. You know anytime after 7:30 is naked time."

Clearly there was response, as naked boy was silent.

"Well, yes, I *COULD* meet them at the door. That's a good compromise."

I... what? Is he meeting them at the door naked? Is he keeping his clothes on until they cross the threshold then... woohoo... surprise nakedguy!
oxymoron67: (Default)
On my way back from The Noguchi Museum (which I'll talk about later), I noticed a business with an interesting name.

I hadn't really seen it before because I don't spend a lot of time in this part of Queens.

Here it is:

CROATIA MEAT

I... it made me giggle.

Then I got to thinking. Maybe the butcher shop was just a front for a brothel that specializes in South Slavic rent boys.

That's a pretty specific fetish, though. I wonder if the place would JUST specialize in Croatians or if the entirety of what was Yugoslavia would be represented.

"Only a Bosnian for me!"

"I'll take a Serb!"
oxymoron67: (Default)
I was out and about all day today, saw two movies and had adventures in public transportation.

Movie #1: Humpday
A married man, living a comfortable maybe even a little staid life, is awoken in the middle of the night by the arrival of his living-the-Bohemian-lifestyle roommate from college. Hijinks ensue.

Okay, we've see all sorts of variations on this theme, but this one is new to me: the Bohemian dude and the middle class dude end up at this party where everyone is talking about doing pornos for a local amateur porn festival. Well, the two guys get drunk and a little high, and one thing leads to another and suddenly they, two striaght guys have basically dared themselves into doing a porno with one another.

There is all sorts of potential for interesting things to happen here, and most of it was wasted. The wife just kind of says "Go for it. Get it out of your system" with no apparent fear that the husband won;t be coming back or knowledge that the husband wonlt go through with it.

And the dudes: there was an awful lot of slapping going on for my tastes. I don't smack anyone around like that, playfully or otherwise. I'm guessing that this was supposed to be some statement about masculinity and heterosexuality in men, but it was just kind of dull.

Movie #2: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
From the cartoon show: does anyone remember if the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron, had an uber-boss? I don't recall that, so all through the movie I thought of that Decepticon as Darth Transformer.

This was loud and stupid. And those were its best qualities. I may now have to see G.I. Joe just to see which is worse.

Adventures in public transportation, in convenient letter form.
Dear guy in really short shorts,
Underwear is your friend. Well, okay, maybe not YOUR friend, but it is the friend of all those around you. We did not need to see your nutsack banging against your inner thigh on the bus.

I don't care what kind of underwear you choose: boxers, briefs, g-string... it's not my problem. But for the sake of the city of New York please choose one of them.

Thanks,
Your fellow public transportation using public

Dear lady in the halter top,
Several things, actually:
1) Interesting tattoo. Do the eagle's talons each encircle one of your nipples, because that's what it looks like you're going for.

2) I know it's a halter top, but WEAR A BRA. Free range boobies can be problematic in real shirts, but in halter tops? Well, to quote my sisters "Those breasts just look like two dead fish." Which is what I thought every time the bus hit a pothole and they started flopping around.

3) Just so you know, between the tattoo and the halter top, you were radiating skank. If that was the look you were aiming for, congratulations. If not, you might want to consider covering up.
oxymoron67: (Default)
Every now and then, my short, fifteen minute bus trip becomes slightly more interesting.

Today for example, the cotton/poly blend of my trousers and the odd plastic-y seat cushions on the bus combined to give me a friction free ass.

You would think a friction-free ass would be a good thing, but in this instance, not so much.

Because of the friction free ass, whenever the bus driver applied the brake, I slid across the seat like a puck across the ice rink. Which still would have been fine except that I was sitting next to someone. So I smashed into him about five or six times.

This is bad: I am not a small person, so it was kind of like a boulder smashing into Wile E. Coyote.
oxymoron67: (no bear)
I forgot my ipod this morning. (It's sitting on top of the bookcase in my living room.)

As a result, I ended up listening to another Inappropriately Public Cell Phone Conversation.

This woman was talking in a loud voice about many things I didn't need to know:

1) She has crabs.
2) She is going to shave "down there".
3) She is sick of all the drama and
4) Will attack whoever makes this into a big deal.

An added bonus: she got off at my bus stop: she's a student at my college.
oxymoron67: (Default)
While waiting for the bus this morning, two of the gaggle of teenage girls who take the same bus that I do were talking. I caught this part of the conversation:

Girl1: So, I called him last night.
Girl2: And...
Girl1: Well, he was all, like, 'um'...
Then I was all, like, 'oh'...
And he was all, like, 'ok'...
Then I was all, like, 'all right'...
Then he was all, like, 'well, good'...
And I was all, like, 'yeah'.

I'm not enitrely sure what was going on there, but whatever it was, a lot of agreement was involved.

When did our language evolve beyond the use of nouns?
oxymoron67: (Default)
I didn't sleep very well last night because of strange dreams that kept waking me up.

Not nightmares, mind you, just really, really odd. It was like Fellini directed my dreams last night.

Seriously, the only thing missing was the Sad Clown of Love.

Anyway, so sleep deprived and pre-caffeinated, I stumbled onto the bus this morning and saw a sign promoting a website. The website was:

www.goredforwomen.org.

Here was my thought process:

"Gored For Women.org? What is that? Matador porn? Hurt/comfort matador porn? Is that why all the women are dressed in red? Really? How did they manage to advertise on a bus? Oh... wait..."

It's actually Go Red For Women.org, and the website promotes heart disease awareness among women. I have no idea why my mind went down the route it did. I mean other than the obvious craziness.
oxymoron67: (Default)
Dear woman sitting two people down from me on this bus this morning,

Click for the icky details. )
oxymoron67: (fruitcat)
Partial rerun for snarkers...

Folks on the bus this morning:

1) Man who complained long and loudly about being bumped into as I walked by.

I did not not intentionally mean to harm you when I brushed past you to get to the back of the bus, where there was ample seating. (Why were you just standing there, impeding everyone?) And, frankly, given my size and the joys of momentum, had I meant to hurt you, you'd have been squished like a pancake. Still, if you are this sensitive to being bumped into on the bus, may I suggest not taking a Manhattan bound bus during the morning rush?

2) Lady who refused to move from the front of the bus even though there was plenty of room elsewhere, while loudly proclaiming that she was getting off "in two stops"

Strangely enough, I counted eight. And then I, myself, got off the bus. BEFORE YOU! Nothing bad will happen to you on the back of the bus. Especuially at 7:30 am. We're all just sitting there listening to our iPods.

Well, except for...

3)The loud teenage girls whose classes should've ended weeks ago.

I normally don't mind you. I envy the energy you have. The ability to take everything that seriously that early in the morning is impressive in its way. In fact, I jokingly refer to you as the Drama Trauma Girls. Having said this, did you have to squeal so loudly this morning? I have a bit of a sinus headache, and it hurt.

Family Drama

My brother is on paid administrative leave from his job. He does not know why he was put on leave, and, when he asked the folks at HR, he was told that they have no record of a complaint. Now, I believe that they are legally required to tell him why he was placed on admin leave. Also, he has personal items there, and has not been able to retrieve them -- again breaking the rules.

He's acting (over the phone at least) way, wayyyy too mellow about this. I'd like to think that I'd be calling HR every day until I got a straight answer. (And considering that this has been going on for two weeks), asking if I should be getting a lawyer. Now, I know he's not handling it well, because *I've talked to my sister-in-0law, who told me that he hasn't been sleeping.

Anyway, because of this, my planned trip to the Burgh has been put on hold until August.

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