oxymoron67: (Default)
[personal profile] oxymoron67
This will likely be friends-only in about a week.

I had just finished my first year of grad school and hid a little time before the summer session began. So, my boyfriend (a fellow grad student) and I decided to run off to the shore for a long weekend. Now, lying around on the beach isn’t really my thing but he wanted to go, and I figured I could read and relax.

The week before we left, we had rented From Here to Eternity. It was a great movie. We both loved it. We both wanted to recreate the beach love scene between Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr. It just looked like it was so romantic and so much fun.

So, we decided to go for it and went down to the beach that night.

As we headed down there, we got into a little bit of an argument over who would be on top. We decided to wrestle for it once we got the beach: whoever pinned the other got to top first, and if we still had energy, we’d switch places.

This turned out to be the least of our worries.

We got to the beach and decided to skinny dip before doing anything else. This was not a good move. It was early June and the water was not warm.

We ran out of the water, and even though we were cold, the wrestling match started. I guess we figured that the activity would warm us up. We really weren’t thinking clearly.

While we started on the beach blanket, we did not stay there for long.

This was when the real trouble began. Sand sticks to wet things. And it gets everywhere. You know how good wet sand feels when it you wriggle your toes in it?

Sand in your buttcrack is not a similar sensation at all. Nor is it a particularly pleasant sensation. Also, someone running his sand covered hands over your body? Not sexy. Sand-paper-y? Sure. Sexy? Not so much.

At this point, we were wet, a little chilly and covered in sand. The sand was ALL OVER our bodies, and it was not comfortable. This was not what Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr looked like. The movie had lied to us!

But, God damn it, we were DETERMINED to have our romantic beach sex... until one of us reached for the lube. During our wrestling match, we knocked over the bottle and the lube had spilled out onto the sand.

We looked at the empty bottle. I just started to laugh. This had been a fiasco from start to finish. We surrendered: no romantic movie inspired beach lovemaking that night.

Still, we were covered in sand. Neither of us wanted to put our clothes back on while covered in sand.

Unfortunately, we realized that the best way to get the sand off of us was to go back into the cold water, to rinse it off. After that, shivering, unhappy and frustrated, we got dressed and returned to the hotel.

Once we got back to our room, we took separate hot showers.

The next day, we had sex in the bathroom of nightclub. You know, like normal people do.
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October 2013

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